Thursday, November 11, 2010

I Am Not in Control...and It Is Obvious

I (Adria) am a shameless control freak, which makes life a bit bumpy. 

It looks a little bit like this.
1) I make my plans.
2) I determine that I'm probably the only one I know that can accomplish my plans to perfection.
3) Life begins to do what life does--exactly what I don't want it to do.
4) I begin to freak out.
5) God points out the fact that I'm being a little egotistical.
6) I finally realize that I am not in control of the world.
7) I still freak out.
8) God has his own plans and accomplishes them perfectly.
9) I resolve to do better next time.
10) Repeat cycle.

Today I found myself covering steps 3, 4, and 5 in full force.  This week we decided that we were going to put on a benefit concert and silent auction to help raise funds for the recent copper thefts.  With $200,000 worth of damage and some recent media coverage we decided it would be best to start the process soon.  So, with basically only Andrew and I in the office this week we (well, basically me) started planning.  We have only until early next week to finalize the date, venue, and performers.  Let's just say this has not been a smooth process and I've felt increasingly overwhelmed...thus number 3 and 4.

In addition to feeling like everything went wrong today, we had another thief get up on our roof this afternoon and had the police here AGAIN.  Then the thief RETURNED about two hours later, and long story short, there were a few minutes involving him, Andrew and myself that were scary enough that I got a little perspective...about when number 5 kicked in. 

Will it really be the end of the world if my plans fall through?  Am I willing to trust that God has got things under control...even if that means breaking down my plans for His own?  So, I'm sitting here, exhausted from the adrenaline let down, listening to about 30 guys play basketball in the gym and two very energetic boys playing horse and cowboy around the lobby and I'm just grateful that God is God and I am not.  I think I'm going to go home tonight and try to rest in the knowledge of number 8 while I commit myself to number 9.  And maybe, just maybe, I can avoid number 10.

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